Smithers and The Pharaoh's Fig Biscuit

One ancient biscuit. One missing aristocrat. And far too much sand in the wrong places.

When Sir Reginald Marlow—knight, gentleman, and magnet for bizarre disasters—is invited to a gala at the British Museum, he expects nothing more than tepid canapés and awkward small talk with dusty curators. But when his distant cousin, Lord Tuppington-Glubb, vanishes alongside a sacred 3,000-year-old fig biscuit belonging to Pharaoh Nefercustard, Reggie finds himself at the centre of an archaeological absurdity.

Whisked away aboard The Dainty Sphinx, a museum-sponsored cruise to Cairo, Reggie is accompanied by his ever-unflappable valet Smithers, his spiritually enthusiastic Aunt Petunia (now identifying as the "High Priestess of Sticky Dates"), and a suspicious goose with international instincts.

Together, they'll battle rogue archaeologists, cursed pastries, a marmalade magnate, and the mysterious Society of Raisins—all in a race to find the biscuit, prevent an ancient dessert-based prophecy, and avoid being mummified by mistake.

A riotous blend of British farce, mystery, and Middle Eastern mayhem—with extra jam.